“Until I wrote it down, it felt like I hadn’t done anything. It was like it just fell from the sky.” How 28 steps led to results.
- ГО МАРТІН-клуб
- 10 hours ago
- 6 min read
Natalia Obernyak is 44 years old. She is from Dnipro, and today she lives in her city again — after almost a year and a half abroad, returning home without a clear plan, and a long road to recovery.
Before Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Natalya had experience in corporate management. But by the beginning of 2022, she was already in a difficult internal state: a personal crisis, burnout, fatigue. The full-scale war was superimposed on this like another heavy layer.
Until the last moment, she did not believe that the war would actually start. It seemed to her that the situation could still be resolved — politically, economically, through some kind of agreement.
But on February 24, Natalia woke up to the explosions and realized: everything had already happened.
Her psyche couldn't handle the strain. After the first explosions, she literally "turned off" - she slept for almost a day. When she woke up, it felt like the world had already changed without her.
“It seemed like half the country had already left for abroad while I was sleeping,” recalls Natalia.
For the first few months, she stayed in Dnipro. She didn't plan to leave because, like many people at the time, she thought, "I'll be home." But the shelling intensified. The woman was most afraid of the carpet bombing. The night when the factory in Dnipro, which was often the target of Russian strikes, was attacked was especially difficult. The explosions lasted all night, and in the morning, Natalya's body reacted with severe nervous urticaria.
"I got a big rash all over my leg. And I realized - I can't stand it."
Therefore, the woman decided to go abroad, it was a spontaneous decision. At first, it was “for two weeks to visit friends”. But these two weeks turned into almost a year and a half. It didn’t get any easier abroad: another country, a new environment, many everyday and internal challenges. There were almost no resources for adaptation.
That's why, in December 2023, Natalia returned to Ukraine. Just as spontaneously.
"I can't take it anymore, I can't take it anymore, I want to go home," is how she describes that moment.
But returning did not mean automatic relief. She arrived without plans and without strength. The psychological exhaustion was so deep that sometimes she could just lie down and stare at the ceiling, without any thoughts about the future. For almost a year she tried to look for something, try, and get an internship, but the internal resource for stable movement was not enough. Communicating with people was also difficult.
In 2025, Natalia accidentally saw information about MARTIN Club events on social networks. She became interested in art therapy meetings, although at the time she didn't even fully understand what it was.
She just felt: she needed people.
It was important for Natalia that this was a women's space, -
"I can't explain why, but it was very important to me. It was a feeling of security."
A space where there is a sense of safety, where you can come without having to prove or explain anything. At first it was scary: it seemed like she might be evaluated, judged, that she was “not like that.” But gradually this feeling began to change.
In art therapy sessions, women drew, made felt crafts, created skeins, worked with small details. For Natalie, this became a way to return to the “here and now.” She recalls how painting pictures by numbers helped calm her thoughts: concentrating on small details gave a feeling of silence in her head. “You sit and concentrate so much that your head becomes quiet. Just “shhhhh”…”
The first class she took was working with felt. “I was generally interested in language courses. And then they said to me, ‘Do you want to join?’ And I was like, ‘Can I? Can you do all this?’”
Beads, bright colors, small details — all this helps you focus.
The very fact of the completed action became especially important for her. In art therapy, you start something and you get a result. Even if it's small, it's tangible.
"You did something here and now. And it is there. And then the thought appears: 'Oh, I can do something else,'" says Natalia.
Later, women's circles, one of the activities that take place within the framework of a joint project with the UN Women in Ukraine and funded by the UN Women's Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF) , became for her not only about creativity, but also about communication. There you could talk about important topics, listen to others, share your experiences, or just be there.
"What's valuable to me is that I know: they won't bully me. I can say something and everything's fine. Women are very different. From different parts of Ukraine. But now they are support."
Later, Natalia learned that the psychologist at MARTIN Club provides free individual consultations, and began working with her personally. This was an important stage, because Natalia's experience was multi-layered and sensitive. It was difficult for her to tell her story anew every time, especially to a new person.
Working with one psychologist has created trust and stability. "I don't have to start from scratch every time I meet. And I don't have to prove that I need help to every new psychologist."
The psychologist explains that during such meetings, women gradually undergo internal transformations: they understand themselves better, see their experience not as isolated, but as part of a broader human experience, and find inner support.
One of the important moments in working with Natalia was realizing her own path. She won a grant to study SMM and network marketing, but at first she perceived it almost as a coincidence.
"I won a grant and thought: well, I won and I won."
Only during therapeutic work did they, together with the psychologist, begin to break this result down into specific actions.
It turned out that 28 steps led to the grant : finding an opportunity, deciding to apply, preparation, paperwork, working on a resume, internal resistance, overcoming the fear of showing up.
“Until I wrote it down, it felt like I wasn’t doing anything. It was like it just fell from the sky,” shares Natalia.
This was a powerful revelation for her: she saw how much she had actually accomplished.
At the same time, Natalia began to return to creativity. She conducts master classes on making candles from beeswax. These classes involve a lot of sensory input: the smell of wax, colors, aromatic oils, compositions, flowers that she collects at the dacha. For her, this is not just a hobby, but another way of recovery.
Gradually, she decided to create her own Instagram page as a craftswoman. For some, this may seem like a small step, but for Natalie it was a huge personal achievement.
"To show up and declare myself was a challenge for me. And I did it."
There were also moments of strong resistance. For example, writing a resume brought her back to difficult past experiences, so she avoided the task for a long time. But after gradual psychological work, she was able to sit down and write it in one night.
MARTIN Club psychologist Yulia Sidoruk emphasizes:
A grant, training, master classes, or a social media page are already visible results. But behind them lies a much deeper process: the formation of internal support, working with anxiety, and regaining the ability to act. “Natalia had a dream. And through gradual work, we came to its realization,” the psychologist adds.
Today, Natalia has tools that help her better understand herself and cope with her conditions. She knows that she can come to a consultation, talk, cry, and break down complex things into understandable parts.
For her, accessing psychological support is not about “something is wrong with me.” It’s about being able to survive internally when the external world remains unstable.
She says that women of her generation often lacked the experience of a safe environment. “We didn’t have the skills to understand our emotions. There weren’t those spaces.” Childhood in the 90s, growing up in difficult social conditions, the lack of skills to talk about emotions — all of this still has an impact today.
"If you're not a mother, a wife, a woman 'in some role', you don't exist. But here you just exist. And you're welcome."
That's why supportive spaces are important for women of all ages, backgrounds, and life circumstances. Not just those with children. Not just those in apparent crisis. But for anyone who needs a place to be heard.
To other women who are afraid to turn to a psychologist, Natalia would say a simple thing:
"There's no need to be afraid of this. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It's helping you find your way and get the support that we really need right now."
And adds the most important thing:
"To keep going, to function, to do something for yourself and for the community, you need to start with yourself."
The project "Enhanced Protection of Women and Girls" is implemented by the NGO "MARTIN-Club" with the technical support of UN Women in Ukraine and funding from the UN Women's Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF), a flexible and operational funding instrument that supports quality activities to enhance the capacity of local women in conflict prevention, crisis and emergency response, and the use of key peacebuilding opportunities.
This story was produced with the financial support of the United Nations Women's Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF), but this does not mean that the views expressed and the content are officially endorsed or recognized by the United Nations.
